What you want
There is one knowing voice. We all hear it too. It is the voice that tells us what makes us feel good about what we are thinking. This voice is our inner guide. It responds positively when we are thinking about what is good for us and negatively when our thoughts are going to lead us into misfortune if we continue adding unto them. It is a simple check to learn to listen to our feelings. The reason for our feelings is that we cannot get any clearer signal from consciousness then how we feel about what we are thinking. You mention left and right and middle. All of these are symbols which may have had some meanings to the original ones who showed us these symbols, but what I think happened and happens sometimes is that we put all of this stuff in front of us to rationalize our feelings instead of dealing directly with these feelings as indicators of our inner guide showing us the way. Here is an experiment for you to try. In your meditation think about what you want, a relationship a new car, a better job, anything at all. It has to be something that you want with deep feeling. Also it has to be for yourself. Now imagine yourself having this. Imagine the joy in receiving that which you want. Take it to the limit here. Smile, laugh or cry for joy. The key is the joy. Do this for about 15-20 minutes visualizing and bringing your thoughts to bear on that which you want.
The result is that you will be energized feeling good about what you want. Don't worry about when you will see this that you want. Just know that you have just initiated a grand creation. Your good feelings are the result of the encouragement your inner guide is giving you. In this way all that is good is expressing itself through you. You will have what you want. Keep this meditation going. You aren't being selfish by asking for something for yourself, you are being mindful of the self and surrounding your being with the world in your own image. Go directly for this. The symbols of Kabbalah were only there to take your mind off of what you do not want. They are abstract and interrupt the mind flows. Now be active in your creation. There is no other reason to be here than to participate in the creation of what you want. All happiness comes from this fulfillment.